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| − | {{League infobox
| + | In the year 2025 in the halls of the Reichschancellory a German soldier was running to an office. when he reached the door he dropkicked it open. "Mine Furor! The Americans are inside Berlin!" |
| − | | shortname = UGC
| |
| − | | image = UGC-Logo.png
| |
| − | | imagesize = 250px
| |
| − | | fullname = United Gaming Clans
| |
| − | | formats = [[HL]], [[6v6]] and [[4v4]]
| |
| − | | area = International
| |
| − | | current = Season {{Current Seasons | ugchl }} ([[HL]]), Season {{Current Seasons | ugc6s }} ([[6v6]]) and Season {{Current Seasons | ugc4s }} ([[4v4]])
| |
| − | | website = http://www.ugcleague.com/
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − | '''United Gaming Clans''' (UGC) was founded in 2002 as Team Fortress Classic (TFC) and Counter-Strike (CS) league. Currently they are the largest TF2 league in the world with over 10,000 unique players in the current season of their 9v9 ([[Highlander]]), [[6v6]] and [[4v4]] leagues.
| |
| | | | |
| − | ==Divisions==
| + | Adolph Hitler, king of Neo-Germany, looked up from his volksdesk rapidly. "Mein gott in Himmel! I must escape!" Quickly he ran to his secret underground laboratory. Scientists were running around and conducting scientific experiments. "Active the time machine!" shouted Hitler. Hitler could hear Americans shouting in the tunnel behind him, murdering innocent German scientists and soldiers to satiate their blood lust. |
| − | The UGC league separates teams into 5 distinct divisions. These divisions come in the order as follows: Iron, Steel, Silver, Gold, and the highest division; Platinum.
| |
| | | | |
| − | == Format ==
| + | "But mine Furor, the temporal coordinates are not set! You could be sent ANYWHERE!" |
| − | UGC runs three seasons a year in all TF2 formats. Seasons typically start in January, June and September. Each season is comprised of 8 regular season weeks and 5 playoff weeks. Teams are placed into skill divisions based on the combined experience on the roster.
| |
| | | | |
| − | During the regular season, teams will play against opponents with a similar rank win/loss streak. For the playoffs, the Top 8 or Top 16 teams in a division are placed into a title bracket. Platinum and Gold divisions play in a Double Elimination bracket while Silver, Steel and Iron divisions play in a Single Elimination bracket. Grand Finals are played in a Best of 3 Maps format. Each team in the finals map can pick 1 of the 3 maps to be played from the season map pool. The tie breaker map (if needed) is selected by Admins.
| + | "It is irrelevant, fool! I must survive so that National Socialism can continue!" The thoroughly chastised scientist activated the time machine, and Hitler was thrown through time - to 29AD! When Hitler stepped through the portal he saw a beautiful man with blue eyes and a long beard. |
| | | | |
| − | Regular season matches are played on single maps, in 2 halves. Depending on the game type, the win conditions differ:
| + | "Greetings, my son," he said. Hitler looked around. |
| − | * On [[5CP]] maps, the first half is played until the time limit runs out, or one team wins 4 rounds. The second half ends once the time limit runs out, or the other team wins 4 rounds or when one team has won their 5th cumulative round. In case of a tie after both halves, an overtime round is played, which is won by capturing all points once. If overtime is inconclusive, a "sudden death" round is played.
| |
| − | * On [[King of the Hill]] maps, the first half of the map ends only when one team wins 3 rounds. The second half ends if the other team wins 3 rounds or when one team wins their 4th cumulative round.
| |
| − | * [[Attack/Defend]] and [[Payload]] maps are played as best of 3 [[stopwatch]] rounds. Teams alternate between attacking and defending every round, and each team defends once in a half. The round is won by whichever team captures the most points the fastest.
| |
| | | | |
| − | === Highlander ===
| + | "Where am I?" |
| − | UGC's Highlander league is the largest of the 3 formats they play in TF2 with just over 8,000 unique players. There are five different regions for their Highlander league: North America (NA), Europe (EU), Asia, Australia/NZ (AUS/NZ) and South America (SA). There are also different skill-based divsions for the NA, EU and AUS/NZ leagues.
| |
| | | | |
| − | ==== Map List for [[UGC-HL Season 18|Season 18]]====
| + | "In Israel, my son. Come, have lunch with me. My name is Jesus Christ." Hitler was instantly amazed. He had been a devout Christian all his life and he was honored to eat dinner with Jesus. During lunch Hitler explained the tenets of National Socialism to the Messiah. To his delight, Jesus loved it! Within an hour Jesus was won over to National Socialism. Hitler felt joy in his heart. National Socialism would live again! |
| − | * '''Week 1''' - [[pl_upward]]
| |
| − | * '''Week 2''' - [[koth_ashville_rc1]]
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| − | * '''Week 3''' - [[cp_gullywash_final1]]
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| − | * '''Week 4''' - [[koth_product_rc8]]
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| − | * '''Week 5''' - [[cp_steel]]
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| − | * '''Week 6''' - [[Swiftwater|pl_swiftwater_ugc]]
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| − | * '''Week 7''' - [[koth_lakeside_final]]
| |
| − | * '''Week 8''' - [[Badwater Pro|pl_badwater_pro_v9]]
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| − | * '''Playoffs Round One''' - [[cp_steel]]
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| − | * '''Playoffs Quarter-Finals''' - [[pl_upward]]
| |
| − | * '''Playoffs Semi-Finals''' - [[koth_product_rc8]]
| |
| − | * '''Playoffs Grand-Finals''': Best of Three Maps
| |
| | | | |
| − | === 6v6 ===
| + | While they were talking Hitler found himself checking out Jesus' tight bod. If he wasn't Furor of Germany... But he wasn't Furor anymore,was he? That night when Hitler and Jesus were in bed together Hitler said "Jesus, what do you think of... love between men?" |
| − | There are five different regions for their 6v6 league: North America (NA), Europe (EU), Asia, Australia/NZ (AUS/NZ) and South America (SA) There are also different skill-based divisions for the NA, EU and AUS/NZ leagues.
| |
| | | | |
| − | ==== Map List for [[UGC-6s Season 20|Season 20]]====
| + | "What do you mean, Hitler?" Jesus asked. Hitler took a deep breath. He would have to be bold. |
| − | * '''Week 1''' - [[cp_snakewater_final1]]
| |
| − | * '''Week 2''' - [[cp_sunshine_rc8]]
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| − | * '''Week 3''' - [[cp_badlands]]
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| − | * '''Week 4''' - [[cp_gullywash_final1]]
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| − | * '''Week 5''' - [[koth_product_rc8]]
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| − | * '''Week 6''' - [[cp_metalworks_rc7]]
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| − | * '''Week 7''' - [[cp_process_final]]
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| − | * '''Week 8''' - [[cp_granary_pro_b10]]
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| − | * '''Playoffs Round One''' - To be Determined
| |
| − | * '''Playoffs Quarter-Finals''' - To be Determined
| |
| − | * '''Playoffs Semi-Finals''' - To be Determined
| |
| − | * '''Playoffs Grand-Finals''': Best of Three Maps
| |
| | | | |
| − | === 4v4 ===
| + | "This is what I mean." He leaned over and started Frenching with the Lord. At the same time he reached down and started tugging on his already turgid member (Christ slept in the buff). Jesus broke off the kiss. |
| − | There are five different regions for their 4v4 league: North America (NA), Europe (EU), Asia, Australia/NZ (AUS/NZ) and South America (SA) There are also different skill-based divisions for the NA & EU leagues.
| |
| | | | |
| − | ==== Map List for [[UGC-4s Season 7|Season 7]]====
| + | "Hitler I - I don't know if I can do this. It feels so good, so right, but I'm afraid. I've never been with another man before." |
| − | * '''Week 1''' - [[Badlands|koth_badlands]]
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| − | * '''Week 2''' - [[koth_ashville_rc1]]
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| − | * '''Week 3''' - [[Alamo|cp_alamo]]
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| − | * '''Week 4''' - [[koth_product_rc8]]
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| − | * '''Week 5''' - [[Airfield|koth_airfield_b7]]
| |
| − | * '''Week 6''' - [[Warmfrost|cp_warmfrost_rc1]]
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| − | * '''Week 7''' - [[Stallone|koth_stallone_b2]]
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| − | * '''Week 8''' - [[Artefact|koth_artefact_v1]]
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| − | * '''Playoffs Round One''' - [[Badlands|koth_badlands]]
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| − | * '''Playoffs Quarter-Finals''' - [[Warmfrost|cp_warmfrost_rc1]]
| |
| − | * '''Playoffs Semi-Finals''' - [[Airfield|koth_airfield_b7]]
| |
| − | * '''Playoffs Grand-Finals''': Best of Three Maps
| |
| | | | |
| − | === Divisions ===
| + | "I've never been with a man, either, Jesus. I'm scared, just like you are, but we can't let our fears rule us! I love you, Jesus. Do you love me?" Hitler's eyes had tears in them. |
| − | In the order of the highest skill division to the lowest:
| |
| | | | |
| − | * '''Platinum''' - Top tier. This division is for people considered to be at the top of their game. This division arguably requires the most time, dedication, coordination, and skill to compete in.
| + | Jesus smiled. "Yes, Hitler. I love you." They embraced. Again, they kissed passionately. Hitler continued to jerk Christ off. When he began to tense up Hitler lowered his head to Christ's stiff member and caught Christ's sticky seed in his mouth. There was an incredible amount of it and it splashed everywhere. When Hitler rose up again Jesus locked lips with him. He could taste his own salty semen in Hitler's mouth, and he didn't care. Jesus was happy for the first time in his life. |
| − | * '''Gold''' - 2nd Tier. Competition gets more fierce. Those who have the time and dedication to practice 3-4+ scrims a week and the passion to get better belong here.
| |
| − | * '''Silver''' - 3rd Tier. This is for people who can list more than a couple seasons of experience and who are more committed to the upward path towards Gold/Platinum.
| |
| − | * '''Steel''' - 4th Tier. The first "skill tier." This is for people with a little competitive experience to people who have at a couple of seasons under their belt.
| |
| − | * '''Iron''' - Bottom Tier. Entry-level aimed at players with no prior competitive experience. Considered a "special case" division.
| |
| − | | |
| − | == Hall of Fame ==
| |
| − | === Highlander ===
| |
| − | | |
| − | {| class="wikitable" cellpadding=2 style="text-align: center;"
| |
| − | |-
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| − | ! Season
| |
| − | ! NA Platinum winner
| |
| − | ! EU Platinum winner
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| − | ! SA winner
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| − | ! Asia winner
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| − | ! AUS-NZ winner
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 3'''
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| − | | Classic Mixup
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| − | | Turbopoop eSports
| |
| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 4'''
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| − | | Classic Mixup
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| − | | CommanderX and the Sex Kittens
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 5'''
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| − | | Gangsta Gang Gaming
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| − | | Turbopoop eSports
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 6'''
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| − | | Looking Handsome
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| − | | Turbopoop eSports
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| − | | Socios
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 7'''
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| − | | Looking Handsome
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| − | | Simply the Best ''(West Euro)''<br/>Kill Switch ''(East Euro)''
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| − | | BG y sus esclavos
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 8'''
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| − | | The Syndicate
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| − | | Max-Play Highlander Team
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| − | | Les Watones
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| − | | Walaos
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| − | | velox Ðestruo
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 9'''
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| − | | Ginyu Force
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| − | | Sookie Doin' Work
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| − | | Restaurante De Wesker
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| − | | Walaos v2
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| − | | velox Ðestruo
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 10'''
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| − | | MenaceToSociety
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| − | | Team Poland
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| − | | Tor Project
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| − | | Team Bless
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| − | | velox Ðestruo
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 11'''
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| − | | Street Hoops eSports
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| − | | Kill Switch
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| − | | Restaurante de Wesker
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| − | | Team Bless
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| − | | velox Ðestruo
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 12'''
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| − | | Gentleman's Club
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| − | | Stacked
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| − | | Squishers E-Sports
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| − | | Daddy's House
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| − | | velox Ðestruo
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 13'''
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| − | | MenaceToSociety
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| − | | TIPPING INTENSIFIES
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| − | | Amplified Team
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| − | | Walaos 2014
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| − | | velox Ðestruo
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 14'''
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| − | | Kids Next Door
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| − | | Vision of ecstasy
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| − | | Pinducas do Restaurante
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| − | | Walaos 2014
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| − | | velox Ðestruo
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 15'''
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| − | | Kids Next Door
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| − | | Tourettes Chessclub
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| − | | Pinducas do Restaurante
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| − | | Walaos 2013
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| − | | Soup-A-Stars
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 16'''
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| − | | MenaceToSociety
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| − | | Samsung Galaxy Gang
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| − | | EndespeL -
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| − | | 0u0
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| − | | Soup-A-Stars
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 17'''
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| − | | Acoomuma
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| − | | checkers
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| − | | Original Gangsters HL
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| − | | Walaos 2015
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| − | | Soup-A-Stars
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 18'''
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| − | |
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| − | |
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| − | |
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| − | |
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| − | |
| |
| − | |}
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| − | | |
| − | === 6v6 ===
| |
| − | | |
| − | {| class="wikitable centered" cellpadding=2
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | ! Season
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| − | ! NA Platinum winner
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| − | ! EU winner
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 5'''
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| − | | Crump's bros are ill
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 6'''
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| − | | BöNK.name
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 7'''
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| − | | Get Burnt Son
| |
| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 8'''
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| − | | Yancy
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 9'''
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| − | | Octo-Pussy
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 10'''
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| − | | Octo-Pussy
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| − | | team_gg
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 11'''
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| − | | MAX4heads Next Door
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| − | | team_gg
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 12'''
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| − | | Game of Throws
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| − | | Love Me Tenderly
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 13'''
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| − | | Lonely Hearts
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| − | | team_gg
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| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 14'''
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| − | | quantum heartz
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| − | | Corgi Clan
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 15'''
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| − | | Headline Heroes
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| − | | GGWP.pro
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| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 16'''
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| − | | Yomies
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| − | | Old Sailor Man Club
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 17'''
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| − | | The Ultimatos feat
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| − | | NEUTRONATORSHIP
| |
| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 18'''
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| − | | ^Greatness - Oceanus
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| − | | Capri-Sun Enthusiasts
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 19'''
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| − | | Uncle Dad and the Family Secrets
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| − | | Per aspera ad astrA
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Season 20'''
| |
| − | |
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| − | |
| |
| − | |}
| |
| − | | |
| − | === 4v4 ===
| |
| − | {| class="wikitable" cellpadding=2 style="text-align: center;"
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | ! Season
| |
| − | ! NA Gold winner
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| − | ! NA Silver winner
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| − | ! EU Silver winner
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| − | ! South American Steel winner
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| − | ! AUS/NZ Steel winner
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 1'''
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| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
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| − | | The Elite Four
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| − | | Big Blind
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| − | | Squishers e-Sports
| |
| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 2'''
| |
| − | | Satan Take The Wheel
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| − | | Scorp0851
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| − | | Arnieho sbor mazáku
| |
| − | | Renegade
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| − | | Complecity
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 3'''
| |
| − | | cafe memesters
| |
| − | | The Weilanders
| |
| − | | Arnieho sbor mazáku
| |
| − | | Squishers e-Sports
| |
| − | | Complecity
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 4'''
| |
| − | | TERRY'S CREW
| |
| − | | LEGO Island 2
| |
| − | | Saloon.tf
| |
| − | | TMR Gaming eSports
| |
| − | | Complecity
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 5'''
| |
| − | | Lego Island Xtreme Stunts
| |
| − | | Cosmic is a Frugar
| |
| − | | Public Enemy
| |
| − | | Immerstarke Team
| |
| − | | Complecity
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 6'''
| |
| − | | LEGO Racers
| |
| − | | Running Up The Stairs On All 4's
| |
| − | | Public Enemy
| |
| − | | style="background-color:#bababa;" |
| |
| − | | Wontons
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Season 7'''
| |
| − | |
| |
| − | |
| |
| − | |
| |
| − | |
| |
| − | |
| |
| − | |}
| |
| − | | |
| − | == Staff ==
| |
| − | The table below contains a full list of UGC staff.
| |
| − | {| class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" width="100%"
| |
| − | ! colspan=2 | List of UGC staff
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | class="centered" colspan=2 | <big>'''Active staff'''</big>
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | class="centered" colspan=2 | '''Head Admins & Top Tier Managers'''
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | width="12em" | '''Fornaught'''
| |
| − | | Owner, League Manager, Website Manager
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''snowblindfrog'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin - TF2 Highlander League, Data & Web Manager
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''RedRum'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin - Dota2 League
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Blazingboy'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin - TF2 4v4 League
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Firefly'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin - TF2 6v6 League
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Petefbsd'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin - Dota 2, MMR Steambot, Coding projects
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Infinite'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin (Ret.), Community Dev.
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | class="centered" colspan=2 | '''TF2 League Admins & Staff'''
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''snowblindfrog'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin & HL General Manager.
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Blazingboy'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin & 4v4 General Manager.
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Firefly'''
| |
| − | | Head Admin, 6v6 General Manager
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Kumori'''
| |
| − | | Senior Admin & HL Division Manager (NA Platinum)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Mamboulay'''
| |
| − | | HL Division Manager (NA Gold)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Doppel'''
| |
| − | | HL Division Manager (NA Silver)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Ms. X3na'''
| |
| − | | HL Division Manager (NA Steel)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Xenith'''
| |
| − | | HL Division Manager (NA Iron)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''TERRY CREWS'''
| |
| − | | 6v6 Division Manager (NA Silver)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Koobadoobs'''
| |
| − | | 6v6 Division Manager (NA Steel)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Smobo'''
| |
| − | | 6v6 Division Manager (NA Iron)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Sylon'''
| |
| − | | Senior Admin & TF2 Dispute Team
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''MB'''
| |
| − | | Division Manager (HL EU Gold & 6v6 EU Steel)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Reda'''
| |
| − | | Division Manager (HL EU Platinum, HL EU Silver & 6v6 EU Platinum)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Osharlock'''
| |
| − | | HL Division Manager (EU Steel)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Red_Revoluti0n'''
| |
| − | | HL Division Manager (EU Iron)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Chris'''
| |
| − | | Division Manager (4v4 EU)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Chronohawk'''
| |
| − | | Division Manager (4v4 EU)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Quantic'''
| |
| − | | Senior Admin & Division Manager (HL/6v6/4v4 South America)
| |
| − | |-
| |
| − | | '''Hell Evolved'''
| |
| − | | HL/6v6/4v4 Admin
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Courier'''
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| − | | HL/6v6/4v4 Admin
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Scythe M.D.'''
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| − | | HL/6v6/4v4 Admin
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Salem'''
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| − | | HL/6v6/4v4 Admin
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Zildjian'''
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| − | | HL/6v6/4v4 Admin
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''50m3b0dy'''
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| − | | HL Division Manager (Asia)
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Omega'''
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| − | | 6v6 Division Manager (Asia)
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Long'''
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| − | | HL Division Manager (Asia)
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| − | |-
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| − | | class="centered" colspan=2 | '''Website Staff'''
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Fornaught (BradW)'''
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| − | | Owner & Head Programmer.
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''snowblindfrog'''
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| − | | Data & Web Mgr.
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Blindsight'''
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| − | | TF2 PHP Coder & Player Tools.
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Petefbsd'''
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| − | | Dota 2 Web, Data & API Advisor.
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''radio!'''
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| − | | TF2 Graphics.
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''RomanAnderson'''
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| − | | TF2 Web Tools Coder, Stats Coder.
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| − | |-
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| − | | '''Mamboulay'''
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| − | | TF2 Bots and Polls.
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| − | |}
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| − | | |
| − | == Trivia ==
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| − | * [[Classic Mixup]], winners of UGC Highlander Season 3 and 4, are the only team to have won both UGC Highlander and ESEA at the top level under the same name
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| − | == Links ==
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| − | * [http://www.ugcleague.com Official UGC website]
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| − | * [http://ugcleague.com/rules_tf2h.cfm UGC Highlander rules]
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| − | * [http://ugcleague.com/rules_tf26.cfm UGC 6v6 rules]
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| − | * [http://www.ugcleague.com/rules_tf24.cfm UGC 4v4 rules]
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| − | | |
| − | {{UGC competitions}}{{UGC Final Rankings}}{{Popular topics navbox}}
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| − | | |
| − | [[Category:Team Fortress 2 organizations]]
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| − | [[Category:Highlander leagues]]
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| − | [[Category:North American TF2 leagues]]
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| − | [[Category:European TF2 leagues]]
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| − | [[Category:South American TF2 leagues]]
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| − | [[Category:Asian TF2 leagues]]
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| − | [[Category:Australian TF2 leagues]]
| |
In the year 2025 in the halls of the Reichschancellory a German soldier was running to an office. when he reached the door he dropkicked it open. "Mine Furor! The Americans are inside Berlin!"
Adolph Hitler, king of Neo-Germany, looked up from his volksdesk rapidly. "Mein gott in Himmel! I must escape!" Quickly he ran to his secret underground laboratory. Scientists were running around and conducting scientific experiments. "Active the time machine!" shouted Hitler. Hitler could hear Americans shouting in the tunnel behind him, murdering innocent German scientists and soldiers to satiate their blood lust.
"But mine Furor, the temporal coordinates are not set! You could be sent ANYWHERE!"
"It is irrelevant, fool! I must survive so that National Socialism can continue!" The thoroughly chastised scientist activated the time machine, and Hitler was thrown through time - to 29AD! When Hitler stepped through the portal he saw a beautiful man with blue eyes and a long beard.
"Greetings, my son," he said. Hitler looked around.
"Where am I?"
"In Israel, my son. Come, have lunch with me. My name is Jesus Christ." Hitler was instantly amazed. He had been a devout Christian all his life and he was honored to eat dinner with Jesus. During lunch Hitler explained the tenets of National Socialism to the Messiah. To his delight, Jesus loved it! Within an hour Jesus was won over to National Socialism. Hitler felt joy in his heart. National Socialism would live again!
While they were talking Hitler found himself checking out Jesus' tight bod. If he wasn't Furor of Germany... But he wasn't Furor anymore,was he? That night when Hitler and Jesus were in bed together Hitler said "Jesus, what do you think of... love between men?"
"What do you mean, Hitler?" Jesus asked. Hitler took a deep breath. He would have to be bold.
"This is what I mean." He leaned over and started Frenching with the Lord. At the same time he reached down and started tugging on his already turgid member (Christ slept in the buff). Jesus broke off the kiss.
"Hitler I - I don't know if I can do this. It feels so good, so right, but I'm afraid. I've never been with another man before."
"I've never been with a man, either, Jesus. I'm scared, just like you are, but we can't let our fears rule us! I love you, Jesus. Do you love me?" Hitler's eyes had tears in them.
Jesus smiled. "Yes, Hitler. I love you." They embraced. Again, they kissed passionately. Hitler continued to jerk Christ off. When he began to tense up Hitler lowered his head to Christ's stiff member and caught Christ's sticky seed in his mouth. There was an incredible amount of it and it splashed everywhere. When Hitler rose up again Jesus locked lips with him. He could taste his own salty semen in Hitler's mouth, and he didn't care. Jesus was happy for the first time in his life.
